چه بر این مسئله واقف باشیم یا نه، کلماتی که هر روز استفاده می‌کنیم، اصالت و حقیقت وجودی ما را شکل می‌دهند. نحوه‌ی انتخاب ما از میان واژه‌ها، بر اطرافیان‌مان تأثیر شگرفی بر جای می‌گذارد و تفاوتی نمی‌کند که در حین یک گفتگوی مؤدبانه در یک خواربارفروشی ادا ‌شوند یا در یک برخورد رسمی‌تر مانند جلسه‌ی ملاقات با یک مشتری. در این مقاله با ۱۰ واژه‌ای آشنا می‌شوید که اگر از آنها استفاده کنید، هر چه می‌خواهید می‌توانید به دست آورید.

شما به صورت طبیعی، با توجه به شرایط و مخاطب خود، از مجموعه‌ی واژگان و لحن متفاوتی استفاده خواهید کرد. با این حال واژه‌هایی وجود دارند که در هر شرایطی تعیین‌کننده هستند. پس در آینده هرگاه قصد داشتید برای به‌ دست آوردن چیزی تلاش کنید، از افزایش حقوق گرفته تا به چنگ آوردن آخرین آناناس باقی‌مانده در قفسه‌ی فروشگاه، استفاده از این ۱۰ واژه به شما کمک می‌کند به هدف‌تان برسید.

۱. «چون»

شما برای تشریح انگیز‌‌ه‌ی خود در مورد اجزای درخواست‌تان از رابطی به نام «چون» استفاده می‌کنید. رابرت کیالدینی (Robert Cialdini)، مؤلف کتاب «تأثیر»، در بخشی از این کتاب در توضیح عملکرد این واژه آن را به صورت ترکیبی از «درخواست به‌علاوه‌ی دلیل» تشریح می‌کند. او در این کتاب ثابت می‌کند که استفاده از این ترکیب احتمال پذیرش درخواست شما را تا حد زیادی افزایش می‌دهد.

برای درک قدرت این واژه به نتایج حاصل از پژوهش زیر توجه کنید. در این مطالعه‌ی موردی،‌ پژوهشگر از افراد مختلف می‌خواست که اگر می‌توانند بدون نوبت وارد صف بشوند. نتایج حاکی از آن بود که هرگاه از واژه‌ی «چون» استفاده می‌شد، احتمال اینکه مردم اجازه بدهند بدون نوبت وارد صف بشوند بیشتر بود. به عنوان مثال به جای بیان جمله‌ی «امکانش هست جلوی شما بایستم» از این جمله استفاده می‌شد: «امکانش هست جلوی شما بایستم چون دیرم شده و باید به یک قرار ملاقات برسم». نتایج این مطالعه مشخص کرد که واژه‌ی «چون» حتی در شرایطی که دلیل مضحکی برای درخواست بیان می‌شد (به عنوان مثال،‌ «امکانش هست جلوی شما بایستم چون باید زودتر به اول صف برسم») از همان تأثیر برخوردار بود. به نظر می‌رسد که استفاده از «چون» چیزی را در شنونده برمی‌انگیزد که سبب می‌شود راحت‌تر درخواست شما را بپذیرد.

۲٫ «سپاسگزارم»

با استفاده از این ۱۰ واژه در گفتگو، هر چه می‌خواهید به دست آورید

تنها استفاده از واژه‌ی «سپاسگزارم» کافی است تا قدردانی شما را به کوتاه‌ترین و سریع‌ترین شکل ممکن بیان کند. بنابراین اگر گفتگوی خود را با این واژه آغاز کنید از همان ابتدا حس خوبی را به شنونده انتقال خواهید داد. استفاده از این واژه موجب می‌شود در ذهن دیگران تصویر فردی قدرشناس از شما شکل بگیرد و بنابراین آنها برای کمک به شما تمایل بیشتری نشان خواهند داد. بیان عبارتی شبیه به «با سپاس از وقتی که در اختیار من قرار دادید»،‌ در ابتدا یا انتهای یک ملاقات برای انتقال لحن مثبت شما به شنونده کافی خواهد بود.

۳٫ «شما»

اغلب افراد طوری درخواست خود را مطرح می‌کنند که تمام منافع آن متوجه خودشان خواهد بود. اینگونه افراد برای بیان درخواست خود از عباراتی همچون: «من اینو می‌خوام چون بهش نیاز دارم.» استفاده می‌کنند که بیان‌کننده‌ی انگیزه‌ی شخصی یا دلیل منطقی آنها از طرح درخواست است. به جای این رویکرد شخصی، تلاش کنید از منظر مخاطب خود به چارچوب گفتگو شکل دهید.

پیش از هر چیز از خود بپرسید که درخواست شما چه تاثیری بر آنها خواهد گذاشت. به عنوان مثال اگر درخواست خود را به این شکل بیان کنید: «به نظر من اگر این نکته رو لحاظ کنی میزان فروشت افزایش پیدا می‌کنه»، شنونده در مرکز گفتگو قرار گرفته و برای پذیرش درخواست شما تمایل بیشتری نشان می‌دهد.

۴. «اگر»

واژه‌ی «اگر» لحن شما را در موضع قدرت قرار داده و به شما امکان می‌دهد از طریق بررسی پیامدهای احتمالی، شرایط را تا سطوح بنیادین و اولیه‌ی آن مورد تجزیه و تحلیل قرار دهید. در این روش به هر میزان که شرایط را مورد واکاوی قرار دهید (یا حداقل آن را از طریق طوفان فکری مورد بررسی قرار دهید) به همان میزان نیز موقعیت شما بهبود می‌یابد. به عنوان مثال به این نمونه توجه کنید: «اگر ما گزینه‌ی الف را انتخاب کنیم میزان فروش و بهره‌وری افزایش می‌یابد و اگر طبق گزینه‌ی ب عمل کنیم هیچ تغییری مشاهده نخواهد شد.»

۵. «می‌توان»

با استفاده از این ۱۰ واژه در گفتگو، هر چه می‌خواهید به دست آورید

استفاده از کلمه‌ی «می‌توان» نشانه‌ی قطعی نبودن نتیجه و باز بودن مسیر گفتگو است و از این حیث درست در مقابل مفهوم واژه‌های «نه» و «هرگز» قرار می‌گیرد. واژه‌ی «می‌توان» حال و هوای گفتگو را مثبت نگه داشته و به شما امکان می‌دهد که پیامدهای احتمالی خود در آینده را مورد واکاوی قرار دهید. استفاده از این واژه، به‌ویژه در مواقعی که طرف مقابل شما در گفتگو مخالفت یا درخواست متقابلی را مطرح می‌کند، بسیار مفید خواهد بود. به عنوان مثال به کاربرد «می‌توان» در این جمله توجه کنید: «من می‌تونم کار بیشتری قبول کنم، به شرطی که در مورد موعد تحویل آزادی بیشتری داشته باشم.»

۶. «ما»

واژه‌ی «ما» نیز مانند واژه‌ی «شما» موجب می‌شود که محور گفتگو تنها به خواسته‌های شخصی شما متمرکز نشود. در درجه‌ی اول اهمیت استفاده از این واژه سبب می‌شود تا شما در نظر دیگران نه به عنوان یک فرد خودمحور، بلکه به عنوان یک شخص مردم‌دار و نوع‌دوست جلوه کنید. در وهله‌ی دوم، شما این پیام را به مخاطب خود انتقال می‌دهید که هر دو در یک تیم قرار دارید و هر منفعتی که برای شما حاصل شود، شامل او نیز خواهد شد.

۷. «با هم»

با استفاده از این ۱۰ واژه در گفتگو، هر چه می‌خواهید به دست آورید

واژه‌ی «با هم» از بسیاری جهات شبیه به واژه‌ی «ما» عمل می‌کند. مقداری حس آشنایی و همکاری در این واژه نهفته است که به نوعی گفتگو را تلطیف کرده و پذیرش و هضم درخواست شما از سوی طرف مقابل را تسهیل می‌کند. استفاده از واژه‌ی «با هم» تکمیل‌کننده‌ی تلاش‌های پیشین شماست. هر آنچه پیش از این انجام داده‌اید تا درخواست شما (و آینده‌ی احتمالی شما) در شکل و شمایل یک فرصت مشترک به نظر برسد در این نقطه به کمک‌تان خواهد آمد و نتیجه‌ی نهایی حاصل می‌شود.

۸. «در واقع»

اگر قصد دارید در طول گفتگو، طرف مقابل را نسبت به مسئله‌ای مجاب کنید، واژه‌ی «در واقع» به میزان قابل توجهی مفید خواهد بود. فقط در این بین باید به یک هشدار جدی توجه کنید: واقعیاتی که در حین گفتگو به آنها اشاره می‌کنید باید از صحت کامل برخوردار بوده و شواهد تجربی یا پژوهش‌های میدانی صحت آنها را تایید کنند. با این حال استفاده‌ی هر چه بیشتر از واقعیات در طول گفتگو،‌ موضع شما را قوی‌تر کرده و به دنبال آن تضمین می‌کند که مباحث شما برای شنونده متقاعدکننده باشد.

۹٫ «قابل بحث»

در طول مذاکره ممکن است با تمام حرف‌های طرف دیگر مذاکره موافق نباشید و با تمام درخواست‌های او کنار نیایید. در چنین شرایطی رد کردن درخواست‌های طرف مقابل با واژه‌هایی همچون «نه» یا «هرگز» بار منفی به مذاکره وارد کرده و منفعتی برای شما حاصل نخواهد کرد. به جای آن می‌توانید اعلام کنید که نظر شما در مورد مسئله باز و قابل بحث است ولی پیش از رسیدن به توافق نهایی باید مذاکرات بیشتری انجام پذیرد.

۱۰. «خواهد شد»

با استفاده از این ۱۰ واژه در گفتگو، هر چه می‌خواهید به دست آورید

استفاده از واژه‌ی «خواهد شد» طرفین گفتگو را به زمان آینده می‌برد. «خواهد شد» واژه‌ای قدرتمند است، زیرا به طرف مقابل این اطمینان را می‌دهد که پس از پایان مذاکره چه روی خواهد داد. بیان اینکه شما در پیِ انجام این مذاکره قرار است در آینده چه کاری انجام دهید، تصویری شفاف در ذهن مخاطب ایجاد کرده و به همان میزان احتمال عدم تفاهم را کاهش می‌دهد.

این ده واژه، نَه واژه‌هایی جادویی هستند و نه به کمک آنها می‌توانید ذهن مخاطب‌تان را به کنترل خود درآورید. اما اگر این واژه‌ها را در بستر مناسبی به کار بگیرید، به شما کمک می‌کنند راه خود را برای رسیدن به یک مذاکره‌ی دوسویه و منطقی هموار کنید. استفاده از این واژه‌ها از شما فردی قابل انعطاف، باهوش و متقاعدکننده می‌سازد و در نهایت به این معنی خواهد بود که شما در زمان طرح درخواست‌هایتان دارای نفوذ و تاثیرگذاری خواهید بود.

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